Interlude - Recent adventures in baking

Sweet potato buttermilk cornbread

It seems odd to use certain vegetables in baking. Surprisingly, the sweet potato works by making the cornbread less dry. (One fair-sized sweet potato ought to do it.) I would make this again. Recipe here: http://www.pauladeen.com/recipes/recipe_view/sweet_potato_buttermilk_cornbread/

Devil Dogs

I might not go to the trouble of making these again, except for the icing, which is like whipped cream but it holds up better. Has flour in it, of all things. Recipe here: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/02/devil-dogs/

Icing ingredients

• 5 Tablespoons Flour
• 1 cup Milk
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla
• 1 cup Butter
• 1 cup Granulated Sugar (not Powdered Sugar)

In a small saucepan, whisk flour into milk and heat, stirring constantly until it thickens. It should be very thick, thicker than cake mix, more like a brownie mix. Remove from heat and let it cool to room temperature. (If in a hurry, place the saucepan over ice in the sink for about 10 minutes or so until the mixture cools.) It must be completely cool before you use it in the next step. Stir in vanilla.

While the mixture is cooling, cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. You don't want any sugar graininess left. Then add the completely cooled milk/flour/vanilla mixture and beat the living daylights out of it. If it looks separated, you haven't beaten it enough! Beat it until it all combines and resembles whipped cream.

Jam filled Valentine's cookies 

Even using unsalted butter, I found these cookies WAY too salty. Either I goofed or the amount of salt should be cut in half. Recipe here: http://foodrepublik.com/pomegranate-jam-hearts/

Jam Hearts

2 cups flour

1/2 tsp salt (maybe try 1/4 tsp)
1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
3/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp almond extract
6 tbsp pomegranate jelly - I used strawberry jam instead

Sift the flour and salt and set aside. Combine butter and sugar and beat with a wooden spoon until smooth. Add vanilla and almond extracts and stir till well blended. Add dry ingredients and mix until dough comes together.

Divide dough in half and gather each half into a ball. Flatten into disks, wrap in plastic, and place in fridge for about 40 minutes.

Preheat oven to 325 F.

Take out one ball of dough at a time. On a lightly floured surface, roll dough out to a little less than 1/4 inch thick (can be done between two sheets of plastic). Loosen dough from surface using a spatula. Using a heart shaped 2 1/2 inch cookie cutter, cut out 24 hearts. In 12 of the hearts, cut out a small heart-shaped hole using a 1 inch cutter. Place on parchment lined cookie sheets.

Bake one sheet at a time on the middle rack until edges are light brown, about 12-15 minutes. After 5 minutes, transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely. Spread about a teaspoon of jam on the 12 hole-less cookies. Sift the cutout cookies with confectioner’s sugar (I decorated with icing instead). Place the cutout cookies on top of the jam to make 12 jam cookie sandwiches.



Rice pudding

Thanks to my Greek neighbour who gave me some of her delicious rice pudding, I discovered that I now love the stuff. Out of two recipes so far, I like this one best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXs3eq68ZjE

I cut the recipe in half and made a couple of changes. It makes the amount shown above, in a medium sized pot.
 
Half recipe
3/4 cup long grain rice - I did not use long grain rice; used 'Italian style' instead
2 cups water
3 cups milk, preferably at room temperature
1 cup sugar - I reduced to 3/4 of a cup
1 egg
1/2 tablespoon vanilla
dash cinnamon

Boil rice in water (then reduce heat) until water is gone. Stir constantly and don't scrape bottom of pot. Add milk and cook on low until thick. Add sugar, stir and cook. Once it looks done, cook for 5 minutes longer. Beat eggs, vanilla, and cinnamon. Add mixture to rice very slowly, a bit at a time (so egg doesn't become lumpy), and cook 'til thoroughly blended. Put in bowl and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Interlude - thoughts of grieving

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

It's less than two weeks to the first anniversary - September 23rd.

I'm learning the hard way that the anniversary isn't the only difficult day. There are many firsts and lasts leading up to it. I must admit that this is something I never thought about in past years when I talked to people who had lost the love of their life. What did I think - that there was a blip surrounded by normal days?

Yesterday I had a very good walk and talk with someone I met once in one of the Hospice walking groups - a member of the Secret Society of Grievers, as I call them. It's the club no one wants to belong to. Of course not all members are at the same stage - some lost their loved one twenty years ago. And some did not completely adore their spouse so their experiences are quite different. But a common bond can link people surprisingly fast.

I like talking to people in this group. You don't have to put on a brave or shallow front and say you're fine. Anything you say is okay. Feelings that don't get pent up are less likely to burst forth, so visiting becomes refreshingly relaxed. Often we don't even talk about grieving. But this woman - I'll call her Andrea - and I did. Although she is coming up to her second year anniversary, also in September, I'm learning that, according to many, second year grieving isn't all that much different from the first. People often talk about the second Christmas being harder, because the first was a blur.

There are some interesting similarities between us. She spent her first Christmas in Abbotsford. So did I. September 3rd is a big day for her - it was the day her husband went into Hospice. The 3rd was when Glenn and I went to the Saanich Fair, a year ago. For me that day is almost as monumental as the day he died. It's the day I think of him as mobile - even though technically he was able to walk right up until the night he went into hospital on September 8th. But it was our last fun outing, when he made it all the way around the fairgrounds with his walker, sat in the shade and had an ice cream cone, and got such a kick out of watching the sheep in the show ring. Later that week we would be in the doctor's office, all three of us laughing uproariously at his imitations of the sheeps' baahing. Glenn - amazing person that he was - became more and more comical toward the end. I was grateful that a friend took me flying on September 3rd this year because it kept my mind off the fair.

Andrea and I talked about friends we lost during this experience. Who knows the reasons why - they don't know what to say, they can't face their own mortality, they can't relate to you as a single person, they lack compassion, etc. The reason doesn't matter to me. It just is. So let them go. We talked about people's different reactions and the things they say. As I've said before, I noticed early on that it took just seconds to tell if a person, whether a longtime friend or an acquaintance met on the street or a business person in an office, had compassion or not. Some feign it - you can tell. Some don't even try. Some have compassion oozing from their pores. Some are just curious and want to know what happened.

On our first visit Andrea had talked about what a useless statement it is to say to a grieving person, "If there's anything I can do..." "You don't know what you need!" she said. And there is that underlying feeling you get that they hope you don't ask.

For me, I just wanted to be rescued and looked after. I wanted someone to take me away from this horrid nightmare to... where? Outer space? Back down to earth a bit, I wanted them to recognize that if I told them about a problem, I was asking for help. I just didn't want to come right out and ask.

Anyway, it got me thinking, 'What should people say?" Frankly, I don't know. I don't even know what I'd say to myself. Often it didn't matter as long as it was sincere. A simple 'sorry' or 'I don't know what to say' is just fine. So, I guess how something is said can be as important as the words.

Andrea talked also about actions. When she heard that a friend was making sandwiches to take to Hospice, she went to the store and bought more food and went along. How incredibly difficult that must have been for her to walk into that building where her husband took his last breath.

I told her about an outstanding example of action from my friend Shannon. That was the day I was going to the cemetery some months after Glenn passed away. I understood, wrongly, that I had to pick up his ashes and was very stressed about it. The ashes were a weird thing for me. I didn't want to look at them; I sure didn't want to pick them up and feel the weight. Glenn was a whole walking, talking, smiling, breathing person ... reduced to this. Shannon said she would go with me. Furthermore she would pick me up. When I said that I would drive to her place, which made sense because it was on the way, she said no. She would pick me up and that was that. It turned out well in the end because I didn't have to take the ashes after all. The main thing was that she took complete charge. I didn't have to think or do anything. It was absolutely the right thing for her to have done. Where/how did she get such knowledge? Everyone should be so lucky as to have a friend like Shannon. I have been very fortunate.

This month is another roller coaster ride, the biggest in months. I don't know where my head is at, so to speak, but it's all over the place.

Interesting timing that I borrowed a book from a neighbour in which the author talks about the death of his wife. I 'lost it' while reading these lines this morning -
"Real love hurts; real love makes you totally vulnerable and open; real love will take you far beyond yourself; and therefore real love will devastate you. I kept thinking, if love does not shatter you, you do not know love. We had both been practicing the wound of love, and I was shattered. Looking back on it, it seems to me that in that simple and direct moment, we both died."

Amen to that.

Interlude - August flowers in Victoria

The first four photos were taken at Butchart Gardens.

Above: a sunflower.

Gazania.

Cleome or spider flower.

Dahlias always make me think that autumn is not far away.

In a yard: glory bush (Tibouchina).

This year seems especially good for white daisies (or daisy-like flowers), making white my favourite flower colour this summer. These were at Government House.

Butchart Gardens. Okay, not a flower but one of the many Hebe plants.

Clematis in a yard.

Interlude - recent baking

Left: My basic white bread has been turning out better than ever lately. If only I knew why.
Right: Light wheat rolls are the first thing I've ever made using whole wheat flour that turned out okay. Thanks 'S' for the recipe.

This recipe for buttermilk bread came from the Pillsbury cookbook. For some reason it's made with two pieces of rolled dough placed side by side in the pan. I named this 'bum bread' because of its appearance while baking in the oven. Quite good - the inside remains soft and chewy even when a slice is toasted.

Another recipe from the Pillsbury book - Quick Sourdough French Bread made with sour cream and a surprising ingredient - a bit of ginger. Glenn doesn't like sourdough bread but he likes this, especially the crust.

Blueberries were on sale so I decided to make two types of lemon blueberry muffins.

Left: with yogurt.

Right: with buttermilk, a bit more sugar, and crushed as well as whole blueberries. And the winner by a nose is, oddly, the lousier looking ones on the right. They're slightly sweeter and we like the crust on them best. But both kinds are good.

Interlude - A drive to East Sooke Park

Sunday August 30, 2009

Maybe there was something about that boat trip that has me wanting to spend more time by the water... even though we see it from our window every day.

We drove out to Metchosin past the gravel pit.

Parked the car and wandered around Aylard Farm in East Sooke Park. The grass seems especially tawny this year. Usually around this time there are hawks and vultures soaring in the sky, riding the thermals, but maybe it is still a bit early yet. (Yes, according to this website, it happens from mid September to late October. There can be as many as a thousand turkey vultures, it says!)

Down at the beach

An arbutus trunk

We hadn't been to this park in some time - we couldn't remember how long. Nothing much had changed except that now there is a parking lot attendant who keeps an eye on things and provides information pamphlets, maps, and water and treats for dogs. "Welcome to my office," she said. Nice office.

Interlude - Chips & Vinegar

Saturday August 29, 2009

Glenn and I did something we have actually never done before - ate French fries outside. Yes, like picnic. We happened to park in front of Salty's Fish & Chips in Sidney and bought some to go, then walked to the shore and ate them at a picnic table.

You may remember there was a nice gazebo in the little park by the wharf. Gone. In its place is this structure - a bandshell perhaps.

Sidney is in desperate need of some shady spots along its waterfront. Trees would do wonders to soften the somewhat austere, sterile look but some owners of the ever-increasing condos might complain if they blocked their view.

Interlude - Butchart's boat trip

Took a boat Sunday, down by the sea

It just felt so nice, you and me

We didn't have a problem or a care

And all around was silence, everywhere

So go the Supertramp lyrics. But it was a Thursday a couple of weeks ago that we finally took the little boat trip out at Butchart's. We've been thinking about it since last year and since weather was perfect and nobody had booked the boat tour, we took the first one at 11:00 am. There was just Glenn and me, the captain and a trainee. The captain, it turned out, is the ex-husband of the woman who owns Butchart's! He has worked there over 40 years for 3 owners.

The tide was out. As I came bopping down the ramp to the boat and went to snap a photo, the change-camera-battery warning message came on. That was ok because we have a back-up but, horror of horrors, it was dead too. (The first photo was taken another day.) I did manage to eke out a couple more photos from the dying battery.

The electric-powered boat is only a year old and is nice & quiet. We went out from the dock and turned left in Tod Inlet. We circled around the end and then came out to, I imagine, Brentwood Bay. I've been out there a couple of times before, decades ago.

We didn't see much wildlife. The seals weren't on the rocks, the eagles and the purple martins had left the area just recently. I was glad! Imagine how frustrating it would have been without a functioning camera. There were jellyfish around - small whitish Moon Jellies I think they are called. Apparently there was a different type, a big yellow one about three feet across by the docks, but it happened to not be there on this particular morning. Lots of starfish were in the water though.

The captain told us about how they didn't use to charge admittance to the gardens in the winter. Owner at the time Ian Ross would walk around the grounds and decide whether or not there was enough colour to warrant a fee. But then, as houses started filling in along the waterfront, parents would send their kids into the gardens to play which resulted in a bit of damage so they started to charge year-round.

We heard a bit about the history of the area too. One story was about the native band living near the Brentwood Bay docks who told a tale generation-after-generation of a time that the water rose so high they and the animals had to stay up on Mt. Newton. Other people didn't take this legend seriously until Ocean Sciences opened up at Pat Bay and they found evidence of a collapsed moraine or something that caused a tidal wave. Interesting.

That was just a lovely outing and it made Glenn long for his sailboat. He says:

I happened to ask the captain if the boat was a 20 footer cause it looked to be the same length as the Cal 20 sloop I used to own. He said it was and that he had owned a Cal 20 also. "A grand boat!" he said and then we went on to compare how much each of us had paid for our boats. It was a trip back in time to feel the swell under the hull and look over the side through the clear water to the sandy bottom and remember anchoring in various coves. When we were saying goodbye at the end of the trip I said to him, "I want my boat back!" and he grinned, knowing exactly what I meant.

Back in the gardens, a worker was pruning this hedge. I love that they do this by hand without electric tools.

Interlude - License plates

Let's take a little break from the trip report for a few moments. It's tourist time in Victoria, and with it comes some interesting license plates.